I died today.
There will be no outrage,
no social media campaign,
no protests in my name.
But I died today.
I didn’t even know he owned a gun
maybe he bought it
after I finally worked up the nerve to kick him out
though I don’t know who would’ve sold it to him
with the restraining order.
Y’see, it was the looks in the eyes
of my children
that finally did it;
That look scared me more than anything he ever done.
So after the last beating,
when I had to drive myself,
with the two littlest ones in tow
while the older ones slept in their beds,
to the hospital
black and bleeding,
I got that piece of paper that they said would protect me
(they even call it that – a protection order – y’know)
and told him to get the hell out of my house.
I set myself to makin’ things right –
Got the kids to school every day
before I went for my 10 hour shift
at the truck stop diner down by the highway.
But those headlights, are ones I didn’t expect to see.
They pulled up behind me as I was leavin’ for the night;
as I held up my hand to try to shield myself
from the blinding high beams
I heard the click
and felt the force that sent me to the ground
for the last time.
I died today.
But for me, there will be no outrage.
My name could be any of five*:
that’s the number of women
but not like me,
that died like me
*based upon a 2014 report by the Violence Policy Center of women killed my men they knew